Now that Roonster is going to be 3 soon I am sure many of you are wondering when is little Mike Wade numero dos is going to be announced. I'm not making that announcement today but we have decided to share what has been going on in the sibling department for the last 1-1/2 years. We are having trouble. I'll save you any gory, TMI details but I will share that on August 5th we started seeing "the specialists". Some people reading this blog may not want to read about this. I've been told this is a "happy blog" so why depress everyone with this unhappy news. I thought about it and just had to decide that this was important to me. This is our blog, our lives and everything we are going through is shaping this family. When I started this blog it was a way for me to document what was going on in Rooney's life (and ours at the time). Even though Roon is not really aware of having a sibling at this time, the difficulty we've had during the past 1-1/2 years has surely effected him. When Mike and I decided to start planning for baby #2, shortly after moving into our new house, several of the moms in our moms group were also planning their 2nd children. Most of those women, two of which are now Organizers for our new group, have become pregnant and already had their children. That was really difficult for us, especially me. It seemed I was coming home every day telling Mike a new person was pregnant. It was not difficult because these women were pregnant with their own children, but because I was waiting every month to make our own announcement, and I have yet to be able to.
Eventually I decided I had to focus on something else and just stop expecting news. We are not exactly sure what the problems are right now. It could be one of us or it could be both, it is still inconclusive. For awhile there, I was so sad about not having a new baby and probably wallowed in it. We don't really know if the reasons we are having problems now were present when Rooney became a bun in the oven, but after we saw the specialists and started having tests done I realized Rooney could be our "miracle" baby. Although I have always loved him more than anything, I realized that despite the difficulty, we really did need relax and focus on him (then ourselves). Accepting that Rooney may be our only child is hard (we're not ready to start thinking about having someone else's child), but thinking we may have been close to a life without him is even harder and makes me love and appreciate him even more. Now I remind myself that he may be our only one so I better damn well enjoy him and be enjoyable for him!
Follow ups to come
5 comments:
What a lovely blog today! I'm sorry things haven't gone the way you wanted. I think about you often and hope you're doing well.
Hey Susan, Just wanted to let you know we're thinking of you guys. Rooney is definitely one awesome kid with some pretty great parents. You have such a great attitude. I feel like I was a horrible friend when we had to deal with a small trying to conceive issue...just wanted to say I really admire your attitude and how even though you are struggling with this, you are so supportive to so many people.
This must have been hard for you to write, but was heartwarming for us readers. I love you both.
Thanks everyone! I don't want anyone thinking this is a sad post because it's not supposed to be. We feel so fortunate to have Rooney that, although we would like more children, if we don't, we could hardly complain. Now that I've finally posted about it we can share what's going on with everyone. Thanks so much!
Sus, I'm so glad you chose to share that part of your lives with all of us that love and care about you. It gives each of us an opportunity to let you know what a blessing Rooney is to each of us, and an opportunity for us to remind you what a blessing you are to him. I know I wanted Felix for so long, though the reasons may have been different for the wait, it was only after I gave up and accepted a life without him, that he finally arrived.
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